I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
