we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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