Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
