I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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