Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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