how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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