and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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