Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
