Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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