there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
