he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
