I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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