She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
