And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
