You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
