there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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