thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Everclear isn't food dammit
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
