Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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