I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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