Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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