When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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