she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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