I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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