i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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