I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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