I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
