whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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