how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize