I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
