Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
