he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
