Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
