Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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