If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
