I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
