Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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