i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize