I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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