proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize