i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.