well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"