Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.