ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize