I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
