Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
