Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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