well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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