and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
