the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize