do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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