he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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