Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
