the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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