how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You are the jesus of drinking
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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