I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
