He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
