Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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