I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize