i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
