im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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