I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
